This article is for all of the annoying vegetarians out there.

Cream of Mushroom Soup, I Don't Fucking Think So

By Jason D. Zastrow Esquire

I really do not understand vegens. This may be because I have been eating meat all of my life, I'm not real sure. That also may be because I understand things like "Survival of the Fittest" and "The Food Chain." Farm animals are breed for two purposes: breeding stock, and most importantly: human consumption! If people choose not to eat meat, they are not saving any animals. All they are doing is robbing the honest, hard working farmers out of the profits they need to live on.

I have realized that I could never be a vegetarian. No matter how much vegetable, fruit and grain matter I eat, it could never equal up to the thickest, juiciest cut of Porterhouse. I would have to eat an entire garden of lettuce just to feel the same satisfaction a good steak gives me.

I'm betting a lot of those vegetarians ride horses. Just call it a gut feeling, but hear me out on this. If you think about it; in a way riding horses and eating meat are the exact same concept. Seeing as how horses are raised for no other purpose than having a big fat ass on their back and hauling that fat ass wherever that fat ass wants to go. Horses are nothing more than show pieces for arrogant bitches. Horse owners are no better than the plantation owners of the seventeen and eighteen hundreds.

Here's another little tidbit about vegens that has me a little perturbed. Some of them go so far as to not eat only meat and dairy products. Thus, they still eat fish. To me, that's complete bullshit. The farm animals are there purely for the slaughter. While fish are wild creatures in a sensitive ecosystem. I'm sure when fishers pull 5000 fish out of the water; it doesn't affect the rest of the population at all!

I guess those people just fail to see the big picture. To sum this up, vegens are a bunch of over privileged hypocrites who deserve a good swift kick right in the ass.