This rap was inspired by my favorite shopping center:
When I'm going out the door
I'm heading to the store
No need to take alarm
Bitch, I'm only going to the Man's Mall, Fleet Farm
These two raps come from my love of bodily functions:
I have no concentration
Dealing with this constipation
But when you shoot me that glance
Girl, it makes me shit my motherfucking pants
When I deficate
It makes people suffocate
When people say my shit stank
I tell them to suck my anal taint
These three sets of raps were inspirationalized by two good friends of mine, one being Chris, of course, the other being my favorite teacher:
I didn't work today
Because Chris is very gay
He likes to rape little hoots
Then he rips them new poop shoots
Chris has quite bad ass itch
That's why he calls his ass a bitch
The itch is so bad even Preparation H won't help
So he shoves rabid phonics monkees up his ass and shouts MELPYSKELPY!
Chris loves ass sex with Mr. T
Loves it so much it makes his ass pee
Then Chris gets anal warts
And Mr. T kicks him in the nuts
Chris is so sweet
And so neat
Yet oh so incomplete
Without Mr. T he's just an asshole
And a bitch faced bastard with one testicle
These two came from a couple of late night excursions without sleep:
Went out to my car and grabbed a club
Got back in the bar and fitted a man with a new nub
Busted his hand so bad it was unbelievable
At the hospital the doctors all said it was unfixable
So they chopped his hand clean off
I guess from now on he'll have to play a pinch hitter if he plans to jerk off!
Dressed to impress
Wearing this here pink dress
Y'all motherfuckers never catch me doing incest
I like my women nonrelation
You can keep your child molestation
The rest of these are just unrelated miscellaneous raps I came up with:
I'm straight up coming coast to coastal
just as if my name was Tad motherfucking Goastal
If you think I'm a member of the Hoi Palloi
allow me to repeatedly kick your adnormally small groin
When someone comes into my store trying to steal my shit
I act like the bitch from Inquizition and bust them in their fucking hip
Yo Joey's just a stupid little hoe
If he fronts I'll put his head through a steel door